style • 5/5 • hacks walks a tightrope between good and bad taste, between sharp humour and melodrama, and somehow always sticks the landing.

substance • 5/5 • having the show consistently subvert every single expectation you have of it is an excitingly feminist statement all on its own.

oomph • the chemistry between the two main heroines is fire.

#film #tv #series

style • 5/5 • is this a live album? is this a remix album? whatever the fuck it is, it is perfect. iconic NIN sound, all songs are recognizable, with a newly added, brutal techno layer, and a very raw vocal performance by Trent Reznor. and all in a very compact package.

substance • 5/5 • i never really thought much of NIN lyrics, but for some reason, even their older lyrics sounds more relevant than ever.

reckon this will be a NIN summer.

oomph • everything, but especially the end of copy of a.

#music

style • 3/5 • while it starts with three strong y2k-adjacent tracks, it quickly melts into an incoherent, overlong anemic puddle that feels like background music. it's more art-installation or soundtrack than music that's meant to be listened to. it feels like it's missing something.

substance • 1/5 • there isn't much going on in terms of themes or whatever.

i tried listening to Friend quite a few times, and always found myself forgetting that i'm listening to music at all. couldn't find anything to cling onto. not for me.

oomph • first three tracks.

#music

style • 5/5 • there isn't an aesthetic that's quite like Torres's right now. and from the content side, what might at first look cute or twee, is slathered with a thick layer of sarcasm. it's very funny; maybe not as good as Fantasmas (❤️) but as a great standalone companion piece.

substance • 4/5 • although it looks like an art class with a kooky art teacher, it actually touches on serious subjects like immigration and nonconformity and lends them a surreal twist, all the while being relentlessly deadpan funny.

oomph • catholicism, the dark arts of christianity; incense, lace, secrets...

#film

🇲🇹 Stood up and clapped when Malta got 8 points from the public. So these are the votes that money buys.
🇷🇴 Not really sure what part of this so clicked with the voters...
🇬🇷 Great job! But maybe could have been dialed down and refined a little.
🇫🇮 Second year in a row, FI had a frontrunner early on, and it was doing so well purely because they had the final, polished performance since the start. But I suspect that this only resulted in Liekinheitin fatigue and people voting for other things purely because "enough people will vote for FI anyway".
🇮🇹 Capitalising on the conservative vote ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🇦🇺 Australia did well. I'm personally not all that bothered.
🇨🇿 Technical issues 🥶 aside, I made a biased error in judgement thinking CZ will get anywhere close to top 5. I wouldn't be surprised if ČT pulls out. But this my favourite Czech effort by far!
🇧🇬 This is a Tiktok-friendly Balkan summer banger at a time when the world is shit enough as is, so people just want to have fun. Add to that the element of surprise and a memorable, iconic performance, and there's your winner.

For the first time in a while I'm excited for the winner and actually liked the song, unlike the past few years, when I was just happy it's not Israel. It's a nice change and Dara deserves the win! But the dark cloud of Israel keeps hanging over everything. It's like a guest that comes to the party drunk, breaks stuff, dampens the vibe, but refuses to leave, just sitting there and grinning. Let's see what happens in Sofia in 2027!

#esc2026

now that we've seen all the performances and staging...

my favourites:
1. 🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Dara — Bangaranga /
I thought the song was pretty catchy, but the staging is jaw-dropping and fucking sick, so up it goes in my rankings.
2. 🇨🇿 Czechia: Daniel Žižka — Crossroads /
Don't want to get high on our own supply, but the performance is incredible, and he hits every 👏 single 👏 note 👏 Always the bridesmaid, never the bride tho.
3. 🇬🇷 Greece: Akylas — Ferto /
The staging is *a lot*, but I love him, and the song is still catchy. I wonder how The People will react to this.
4. 🇫🇮 Finland: Linda Lampenius & Pete Parkkonen — Liekinheitin /
It's good, it's professional, but I've seen this performance so many times now I am beginning to not care so much. Still good though.
5. 🇸🇪 Sweden: Felicia — My System /
Catchy Eurotrash. Still love.

honourable mention: 🇱🇹 Lithuania: Lion Ceccah — Sólo quiero más /
I'm not a big fan of the staging nor the vocal performance, but have I been singing it in my head since the first semi? Yes, I have.

dishonourable mention: What the fuck is going on with the presenters? 50% of the time I'd rather watch diaper ads or something.
Victoria seems to have waken up toward the second half of the 2nd semi, but Michael doubled down on cringe, so idk man

what ever happened to baby jane?:
🇦🇲 Armenia: Simón — Paloma Rumba /
The performance was pretty decent, but i do wonder whether i would have liked the song so much if the guy wasn't this hot. plus it's a NQ 🥲
🇺🇦 Ukraine: Leléka — Ridnym /
I liked the studio version but, oof, that live vocal performance was rough and the staging practically non-existent. Not surprised it qualified though.

who's going to win?:
realistically, now, i feel it might look like
🇧🇬 🇮🇱🇫🇮🇬🇷🇸🇪🇨🇿
or something like that. but we'll see. winds change lol

#esc2026 #eurovision

style • 4/5 • extra grimy sets, extra creepy choreography and makeup, and the effects are all sorts of extra.

substance • 4/5 • it can definitely be read as a family abuse pressure-cooker situation, if you want, but it's such a thrill that you don't even have to.

oomph • can't decide between the glass-eating and the everything that alyssa sutherland does.

#film #horror

1. 🇬🇷 Greece: Akylas — Ferto
2. 🇫🇮 Finland: Linda Lampenius & Pete Parkkonen — Liekinheitin
3. 🇦🇲 Armenia: Simón — Paloma Rumba
4. 🇺🇦 Ukraine: Leléka — Ridnym
5. 🇸🇪 Sweden: Felicia — My System

#eurovision #esc2026

🇦🇱 Albania: Alis — Nân /
7/10 / Woodkid?? In Albanian???
🇦🇲 Armenia: Simón — Paloma Rumba /
9/10 / A real banger. No idea what's going on, but I like the energy, and I like Simón.
🇦🇺 Australia: Delta Goodrem — Eclipse /
7/10 / Yeah why not!
🇦🇹 Austria: Cosmó — Tanzschein /
7/10 / It's not half bad, because I think German is an great language for a dance track, but the performance and visuals absolutely kill off any kind of goodness there.
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan: Jiva — Just Go /
1/10 / ...I'm happy for u tho, or sorry that happened.
🇧🇪 Belgium: Essyla — Dancing on the Ice /
4/10 / Yas, give us nothing!
🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Dara — Bangaranga /
8/10 / Banger. Will never listen to it past Eurovision week, but it's a banger.
🇭🇷 Croatia: Lelek — Andromeda /
3/10 / This feels very conceptually confused.
🇨🇾 Cyprus: Antigoni — Jalla /
7/10 / Solid, uplifting Southern European bop.
🇨🇿 Czechia: Daniel Žižka — Crossroads /
8/10 / I was skeptical at first, but depending on the staging, it could be quite the showstopper - if Žižka hits all those notes just right.
🇩🇰 Denmark: Søren Torpegaard Lund — Før vi går hjem /
6/10 / I liked the performance, but listening to the song by itself, I was actually surprised how much of a nothing burger it is.
🇪🇪 Estonia: Vanilla Ninja — Too Epic to Be True /
7/10 / Not bad, and here I thought I will hate it.
🇫🇮 Finland: Linda Lampenius & Pete Parkkonen — Liekinheitin /
10/10 / Drama, catchy, Eurovision, camp, hot, everything.
🇫🇷 France: Monroe — Regarde ! /
1/10 / France, Paris, c'est la vie ! 🥖 *GIF of Miss Universe screaming "FRAAANCE!"*
🇬🇪 Georgia: Bzikebi — On Replay /
5/10 / The longer I listen to it, the less I like it. Neither here nor there.
🇩🇪 Germany: Sarah Engels — Fire /
7/10 / Bangaranga II, except for some reason it feels like appropriation?
🇬🇷 Greece: Akylas — Ferto /
10/10 / Catchy, queer, and Greek!
🇮🇹 Italy: Sal Da Vinci — Per sempre sì /
5/10 / Very torn, it's cute, and weirdly indoctrinating at the same time.
🇱🇻 Latvia: Atvara — Ēnā /
1/10 / I think that ballads should be banned by EBU on grounds of being boring.
🇱🇹 Lithuania: Lion Ceccah — Sólo quiero más /
4/10 / Where are we going with this?
🇱🇺 Luxembourg: Eva Marija — Mother Nature /
5/10 / Get your dreamcatcher and feather hat ready.
🇲🇹 Malta: Aidan — Bella /
3/10 / This feels sinister, I don't know why.
🇲🇩 Moldova: Satoshi — Viva, Moldova! /
7/10 / High chaotic energy!
🇲🇪 Montenegro: Tamara Živković — Nova zora /
8/10 / Sick Europop. Again, wouldn't listen to it outside Eurovision week, but can't wait to hear it live!
🇳🇴 Norway: Jonas Lovv — Ya Ya Ya /
6/10 / Is this queerbaiting? Is the song actually fine or I'm just being confused by the moustache?
🇵🇱 Poland: Alicja — Pray /
6/10 / She's got a good voice, but this trap (?) beat feels dated.
🇵🇹 Portugal: Bandidos do Cante — Rosa /
1/10 / This again.
🇷🇴 Romania: Alexandra Căpitănescu — Choke Me /
6/10 / Catchy 2004 emo throwback.
🇸🇲 San Marino: Senhit ft. Boy George — Superstar /
5/10 / Serving senior living by the sea discotheque realness.
🇷🇸 Serbia: Lavina — Kraj mene /
5/10 / Feels bad man.
🇸🇪 Sweden: Felicia — My System /
8/10 / Eurovision genetically-engineered banger.
🇨🇭 Switzerland: Veronica Fusaro — Alice /
6/10 / If I had a car and this came in the radio, I might not change the station.
🇺🇦 Ukraine: Leléka — Ridnym /
8/10 / Very well crafted track, and Leléka seems nice, idk.
🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Look Mum No Computer — Eins, Zwei, Drei /
5/10 / It's probably not going to get a lot of points, if just because the lyrics are absolute nonsense and the staging is cardboard-ey, but it is really catchy. I'm just not a big fan of meme-y acts.

#eurovision #esc2026

style • 4/5 • what a fun, camp ride.

substance • 4/5 • i'm determined to enjoy myself, and very intrigued. oh my, the soup is delicious, isn't it?

oomph • anything madeline kahn says. can't pick between "are you hiding? i'm coming", "flames on the sides of my face", or "soft, strong and disposable." or whatever anyone else says, really. iconic.

#film

style • 5/5 • what looks like a lighthearted romcom in the beginning is actually a well crafted black comedy, and the last third of the film, to me, even veered into horror territory with regard to thrills. the drama takes the sometimes-forced a24 weirdness and massages it out. oh, and the acting is great!

substance • 5/5 • a wildly fun observation of what happens when we get thrown off track. a refreshing look into relationships today that miraculously avoids social media as a theme. straight people aren't ok, *i knew it*.

oomph • watching it in a sold-out cinema with people who thought it's just a romantic comedy is an unforgettable communal experience on par with the substance.

#film

style • 3/5 • standard british horror visuals. the monster design is a little funny. the "lad" dynamic was interesting, but also resulted in characters feeling undercooked.

substance • 3/5 • i'm on a mission to find a horror film that doesn't just roll around feeling sorry for The State Of The World without providing any sort of way out, and though this film provides a main character arc from coward to Axe Man, the ending doesn't feel very earned since all his mates got killed anyway.

it's an interesting take, but internal logic doesn't quite make sense in the end.

oomph • not sure.

#film

style • 4/5 • it looks lived in and tactile, and finds more heart in its subject matter than your average sci-fi. sometimes maybe too much.

substance • 3/5 • yes it's a lot of reheated nachos but i was starving and even though the nutritional value was low i had a pretty good time being reminded that friendship is forever.

oomph • 🪨👱🏻‍♂️

#film

style • 3/5 • iconic imagery bogged down by an absolute lack of atmosphere and wooden acting.

substance • 2/5 • tailor-made to overintellectualise without any meat on the bones.

oomph • turquoise sans-serif and shelley duvall using cigarettes as incense sticks.

#film

style • 4/5 • never seen it before, and once you get over the boilerplate 70s stuff, it gets better and better. the effects, amazingly, hold up after 50 years, which is a real testament to the crew being very aware of their limitations and working with them skillfully.

substance • 3/5 • though the secondary plot is to do with the good old "money vs basic human decency", the primary plot is very primal: "man vs nature". although it's possible that in the 70s it was more groundbreaking, but it's not that deep, just still deeply entertaining.

oomph • Matt Hooper serving fish 🎣 but is actually trade

#film

style • 5/5 • actress's twitchy, prickly ASMR beats stroke the brain stem to make the snake come out. melodies come back to repeat themselves, making you question – did i hear this one already?

substance • 3/5 • dance is a way to collapse time, go back and forth on the timeline, and access this archaic part of you. like the artwork, it's a rorschach test of time and space.

oomph • shadow from tartarus.

#music

style • 2/5 • strong made-for-tv energy with this one.

substance • 4/5 • when faced with the unknown, people can react in a lot of different, expected ways.

oomph • what shoe size is daddy david?

#film #horror

style • 3/5 • stays consistently in the conjuring universe.

substance • 2/5 • family, legacy, etc. it's the fourth film, what else was it gonna be?

oomph • not sure, i liked it though.

#film #horror

style • 5/5 • calling the wicker man a horror film is incredibly misleading for what's essentially a musical with some (pretty tame) pagan elements. once you get over *that* hurdle, it's a very stylish film, unlike anything i've seen before.

substance • 4/5 • it's not a simple battle between good and evil, and its portrayal of belief systems colliding is surprisingly relevant today. it fucked with my head a little, too, as i found myself on the side of the people of summerisle, until essentially the very end. bring on the torches i guess!!

oomph • the art direction!

#film

style • 1/5 • blumhouse chic but make it PG.

substance • 1/5 • none.

oomph • josh hutcherson tho

#film

style • 5/5 • rainy, cozy, and very 90s, ringu is not particularly frightening – verbinski's 2002 adaptation is actually more successful at that – but more that makes up for it in being an aesthetic delight. don't expect jump-scares though.

substance • 3/5 • memes are a form of communication. pass it on.

oomph • so much water, made me feel v hydrated.

#film

style • 5/5 • between the iconic monster design, long pans and zooms, jerky cuts, and effects that surprisingly stand the test of time, this is a horror hallmark. while it may not elicit the same gut reaction something like Insidious might, it's still successful at creating a permeating sense of dread.

substance • 4/5 • while the parents are busy having decadent parties amid societal decline, it's the children that are pissing on carpets, their heads spinning 360, shouting obscenities. and how can you save them? it's adolescence from the seventies.

oomph • "do you know what she did, your cunting daughter?"

#film #horror

style • 2/5 • nondescript matcha place background music.

substance • 1/5 • having fun 🤡

oomph • "carino-u, te-y necesito-u"

#music

style • 5/5 • the film is styled pretty subtly and is a breath of fresh, earnest air in a sea that's otherwise currently full of all sorts of aesthetic misadventures.

substance • 5/5 • very nuanced and well-acted portrayal of finding self-worth, turning weaknesses into points of strength.

oomph • it's all oomph 🍆

#film